Nox Clan (done ^^)

Name: Nox clan
Kekkei Genkai: Tiger Eye
- The Tigers eye grants the wielder the speed and awareness of a tiger. It is permanently active making the members of this clan particularly excellent scouts. The vision of the KKG is note hindered at night. The hearing is also super human as the can hear anything within a range of 60 yards (if they focus on it). The key feature of this KKG is the eyes as they are blood red and the pupil are slit down the middle like cat eyes, and thier fangs are sharp but can't be used as a weapon (they have pride they dont go around biting people).

Secret Clan Jutsu:

Name: Tiger Trap
Rank:C
Type:Ninjutsu
Element: Raiton
Description: This technique uses metal to conduct electricity, so it will only work if the target is carrying metal about their person. The user releases Raiton chakra which then causes paralysis that last 1 post. (similar to the Hyuuga's roation , without the spinning, stepping into the range(within 7ft) causes the electricity to almost instantaneously jolt the opponent/s causing a temporary paralysis(1 post). (once used it cannot be used for 10 post hit or miss) ( the higher rank of the user the less time it takes) cause minimal damage to the user but no paralysis
C-10
B-7
A-5
S-and up-3

Name: Nimble
Rank:D-S
Type:Ninjutsu
Element:None
Description:Albel is able to use his reflexes to duck, side step, flip, or any other maneuver required to dodge a attack. (cant be used for 5 posts onced used)*number of posts to wait decreases as the rank raises.(can only dodge jutsu that are the 1 rank higher than the user and lower)
D-5
C-3
B- up -1



History:
The Nox clan was one of the many clans that resided outside of the 5 great nations. Since it was closer to the Fire nation they did most of their business with them, such as trade, sending ninja when necessary, and so on. After so long the Village Prospered well and eventually decided to further the Clans economy the signed a pact with the Fire, officially making them apart of the nation. When the Great ninja war struck one of the places hit first was the Nox Village.

Due to thier rich supply of food, which kept the Fire nation army moving, the Mist decided this to be the best place to hit the Leaf where it hurt. The Mist swept in in the night and proceeded to kill all that got in the way. The Nox then evecauted the woman and children and sent them off to the Water nation head Village Konoha, the Village Hidden in the Leaves. After the war, the remaining members of the clan stayed in Konoha. To this day they reside in a area of the village that was given to them by the Hokage.

Although most went to the leaf few decided it best if they went to Sunagakure. The Clan leader , Shiro Nox, spoke to the Kazekage declaring that the clan would be willing to lend its power to him in return they wished to be apart of the village. The Kazekage agreed to this with the condition that should the clan ever act against the whats best for the they would be considered enemies and put down. With the clan now under Sunagakure control the Nox finally had peace amongst them and could look toward the future with new vigor.


Clan Symbol:

requesting approval ^^

Um, Im going to have to request that you add a lot more detail to the KKG portion of this app.

Tigers roar would only be able to block up to C rank attacks. It wouldnt be able to defend against wind jutsu at all.

NImble, that seems to be an automtic dodge jutsu that works for five posts? No. Remove it

more info gotcha
and as far as the tigers roar that was a typo i meat to change that slipped my mind though

and nimble doesnt work for five post it has a five post waiting period i cant do it back to back in any post for that matter

-fixed i hope that helps ^^-

No your KKG, needs to be in a good solid paragraph and be very very descriptive. They are meant to be advanced skills, and as such deserve a grand explanation of their power.

ok hows that for informative ^^

- Tigers Roar jutsu: Edit out that it protects against rasengan as that is a forbidden jutsu on the site, as no one will have that technique. Instead state what rank it can protect against e.g C-rank and below. Also chakra based and physical based attacks. It would not be able to protect any higher as a genin has limited chakra control.

- Tiger Trap: How fast does it travel, and can it be dodged even if the user is holding a metal object? You need to talk about the connection between the metal and the raiton chakra better.

- Nimble: A genin even with this technique would not be able to dodge against a quick S-rank attack. It would need to be explained better as you cannot dodge with instinct alone. So make your dodging ability according to rank e.g C against C, B against B etc.

- Need more history, another paragraph please.

all fixed ^^

Please explain more on Tiger Trap jutsu and add more clan history. After that, it shold be fine(unless anoter staff says otherwise...)

^^

-edited- i hope this is enough ^^

Albel Nox wrote:

The Nox then evecauted the woman and children and sent them off to the Water nation head Village Konoha, the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

I can't make neither head nor tail of this sentence. Did the women and children evacuate their village and go off to the Water Country, or do you mean to say that they fled to the Fire Country's Hidden Village i.e Konoha?

Albel Nox wrote:

After many years in the Leaf the clan decided to cut ties and move to Sunagakure, figuring they had a better chance of keeping the clans future in mind. The Clan leader , Shiro Nox, spoke to the Kazekage declaring that the clan would be willing to lend its power to him in return they wished to be apart of the village. The Kazekage agreed to this...

Sorry, but it can't be this simple. A clan that resides in one Hidden Village can't just join another Hidden Village just like that, they would have information on Konoha that would be helpful to Suna if there was ever a struggle between Konoha and Suna. It would be really, really hard for a whole clan to switch villages.

Tiger's Roar: Shaping chakra into something as complex as a tiger's head is something that a Genin would never be able to do no matter how amazing hsi chakra control is. Manipulating chakra to look like a kunai or shuriken is like, B-Rank or something. In any case, this requires you to have the ability to manipulate chakra, which is already taken as a KKG.

Tiger Trap: How do you release this electricity? And please remember that this move will affect you as well unless you decide to ditch all of the standard ninja items. Also, 20ft is a lot of distance for something like this, knock it down to 10ft at most.

Nimble: So basically, this is just a written method for you dodge, and nothing else?

there please tell me this is enough because if this keeps up i wont have any clan jutsu at all >.> -edited-

Rather than use the terms Genin, Chuunin, Jounin etc, use the terms D-Rank, C-Rank, B-Rank etc.

if i do that then the jutsu will have to start at D-rank >.> thats y i used actually name rank because at that rank the user learns to better wield it

I asked you to use rank letters than the ranks because it's easier that way, Genin can be D- or C-Rank, Jounin can be A- or S-Rank.

ok if it will hasten me getting approved -edited- ^^

Okay I'll begin with Tiger Trap. I'd like to applaud you for fooling the other staff members but I am not as easily tricked. A shock of electricity will paralyze the opponent ONLY if they have metal on them. Unfortunately for all shinobi, they carry kunai or shuriken, so they are done for, even if they do not carry the basic projectiles, there is always the metal section on ones forehead protector, therefore I'm going have to deny your Tiger Trap Jutsu and ask you to remove it.

Now we start on Nimble, once I read it the first time, I felt like it was acceptable, though I felt like I missed something, it took me another three times to read it to realize how godmodded you have made this. If you were B ranked, you can use it every post and dodge any jutsu A ranked or below. Even at C ranked now you can dodge any B rank. So an opponent could plan out a highly strategic well thought out move which you wouldn't usually be able to escape, but merely because you have this jutsu you have the right to escape it. Sorry this is also denied, looks like you will need to think of some new secret clan jutsu, because I cannot see how you can edit either of these to make them acceptable.

So let me get this straight, your Kekkei Genkai consists of Super Speed, Advanced Sensory, Nightvision and Supersonic hearing. It sounds overpowered when I say it in basic terms doesn't it, you have merely covered it up with a paragraph, hiding what true abilities lurk below.

You need to make some major adjustments, MAJOR ADJUSTMENTS!

nevermind on this clan then you can delete it ^^

Archived.