The Ayame Clan

Pat has already approved my old one when I first made the clan, I forgot that I had already made it but I have added on to it and made it more acceptional. Here is the link:

https://ultimateshinobi.rpg-board.net/clan-applications-f11/the-ayame-clan-t2550.htm#28938

Clan Name: Ayame Clan

Kekkei Genkai:
The clan abilities have to do with turning into animals. Only the Ayame clan in Suna can shapeshift. It is a very rare clan and they can turn into whatever they want even a fly. Sometimes the Ayame clan members have to work up to the standards unlike most who get it when they turn 10. They may acess their special abilities whenever they please. Whatever they touch they can have a mental picture in their head of what all happened. They are very rare, and they each have their own special ability such as reading minds, telikinesis, teliportation, and etc. Their isn't much of the Ayame Clan and not a lot of good in the clan, but the good gets together and works in a lab called RAPID it stands for Rescue Ayame Clan Persons In Danger, as for the bad lab is called Decration it is where they do testing on their own clan members and kill them when they are finished. Their senses are always 5x better than humans because they are mutant but they can enhance them even more when they need to. They are just like humans just more rare, more forgiving, and more complicated. The Ayame Clan can learn and master jutsus in minutes.

Secret Clan Jutsu:

Ehade Sica (Enhancement of senses)
Rank- D-S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element-
Description: The Ayame clan user can use this to enhance their senses. They often use this so they can hear even the slightest of footsteps or see the slightest movement or the most advantage touching something and seeing a mental picture in your head allowing the user to see everything that happened until they stop the mental picture and etc.

Forde Sica (Camoflauge Teqnique)
Rank- D-S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element-
Description: The Ayame clan user can use this to mix in with whats around them, they can make it seem like they aren't even there if they need to. The user will be able to hide and no one or nothing will know where they are or even that they are there. The jutsu makes the users skin blend into the surroundings, whatever the colors are you will blend in with all of the colors.

Have Sica (Habitat Adaption)
Rank- D-S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element-
Description: The Ayame clan user can use this to adapt to whatever habitat they are in, making them be stronger and use whats around them. It will make your body produce more fatt or less fatt, it will make your skin thicker or thinner, it can make your blood thicker or thinner, your hair thicker or thinner or even longer, it will make you have more instinct for the food around the user.

Danta Sica (Animal Hypnotize)
Rank- D-S
Type: Genjutsu
Element-
Description: The Ayame clan user can use this to make person/oponent an animal temporarally, or permanatly if not broke free by mid-night. The Ayame Clan user may use this to escape or plan another teqnique. The user can make a person/oponent into whatever animal they want, making the person that animal untill changed or permanentaly.

Sikata Sica (Animal Manipulate)
Rank: S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element-
Description: The Ayame clan user can use this to use an animal to stalk, kill, and show the user new teqniques it saw people doing. The animal cannot be detected by any person exept for the person who sent it, it is like a messanger but can't be seen, heard, or touched, it is always protected. The animal can't be sent back or stoped inless told by the user.

Denade es Sica(Animal Caller)
Rank- D-S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element-
Description: The Ayame clan user can use this to whistle a tune and it calls all animals. The animals rush to ur side and do whatever you want them to, willingly. They do all that you want and can help you in a spar or a battle or just help you when you need it, they act as your protectors. You can have many animals rush to your side, all of the animals around you will come to your side and help with whatever needed helped.

Sansu Ne Sica (Animal Attack)
Rank: D-S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element:-
Description: Ayame Clan users can use this to make the animals attack the person they are against, Jutsus, Suplementry, etc. The animal or animals will do anything that you can do. The animal will do anything you want it to do. It will protect you and do anything you need it to do.

Koriame Lon Sica(Shape Shifting Teqnique)
Rank: D-S
Type: Illusion
Element: -
One of the Ayame clan members can use this whenever they want only using very little chakra, depending on the size in which they transform. They glow while they are shape shifting they go back to human form whenever they please, though it takes a post. Changing Shape takes a certain amount of chakra and skill, depending on the size in which they transform. For something their own height or near it, It is D rank, taking a D rank amount of chakra. To transform into something 1 meter taller or shorter than you will take a C rank amount of chakra. For something 3 meters larger than you, a B rank amount of chakra. For Something 7 Meters taller than you, an A rank amount of chakra. For something 15 meters taller than you, an S rank amount of chakra. At rank D you can have Claws and Whiskers and at Rank C you can have Tail and Snout at Rank B Fangs and fur Rank A+S Full body.



History:
They are a branch from the Inzuka clan but they are more advanced, they can do more than Inzuka clan members. The Inzuka clan and the Ayame clan act as if they are all one clan, they are peaceful, they share the land, and have get togethers with both clans to talk and talk about their religions and see how everyone is doing and speak about missions to save the ones who have been uncovered and taken from their families. It started when a special lab started doing tests and mixing human cells with animal cells, they noticed that it made them more stronger and more intelligent so they decided to test it on people. They would be very powerful and have intense speeds. They acted ubnormal untill they learned to act human. Some of the Ayame clan has turned bad and went to capture any Ayame clan member. Even young babies they took when they were born, they did tests on them and used them for bad. Ayame clan members went against their will to the lab called Decration. Decration is where they did testing and kept them in cells like a prison. They didn't ask to be a gifted Ayame clan member but they just were born that way. Most of the Ayame clan members are hidden in different towns and far away from Decration as possible. Ayame clan members usually also have animals by their side some get passed on because they are special animals. Ayame clan members live as long as they want they die when they want to, unless they recieve the "medicine" Decration gives them it makes their powers burst too low that their heart beating stops.

There is hardly any Ayames left and the ones that are left are on a risk of extinction. The good side of the Ayames are hiding from all people from the Decration. The ones that havent been captured or have survived the horrible treatment from Decration made a lab called RAPID it stands for Rescue Ayame Clan Persons In Danger. RAPID is always working on new technolagy and most importantly working on saving more and more people from Decration or from being found by Decration. Most of the Ayame Clan members try to find other members and bring them to Suna where they can be safe and finally. Most of the time kids of the Ayame clan don't go to school after turning age 10 because they start working for RAPID, and at age 10 all of your abilities being in the Ayame Clan set in. Most of the Ayame Clan members don't even know where their families are, or sometimes who they even are, there is very little members that know who their family is and who do are very lucky in some cases. It is a very emotional when families reunite because they haven't seen eachother in a long time. The Ayame Clan members are very rich no matter who they are it just runs through their blood, they are often taken advantage so most of the Ayame Clan members often wed to another member, hardly any wed to a different Clan other than to the Inuzuka.

Please remove Inuzuka clan based techniques. They are unique to their clan.

Did you read that they are a branch to the Inuzuka? They are a branch to the Inuzuka Clan but the Ayame Clan is more advanced.

Quote :

The Inzuka clan and the Ayame clan act as if they are all one clan, they are peaceful, they share the land, and have get togethers with both clans to talk and talk about their religions and see how everyone is doing and speak about missions to save the ones who have been uncovered and taken from their families.

They are in different countries so i fail to see how they can be connected.

Combining Inuzuka clan with a shapeshifting ability may be pushing. I will get a second opinion on it for you. ^^

The whole clan is not together, they are spreaded out in different countries, but the ones in the same area stay in that area, together as a family just as you read above. I don't care if you get a second opinion, just don't make it out to be something that it is not, just read and state the facts as you do, and if you have any other questions feel free to ask them. ^.^

I agree with Todd and the limitless ability to shapeshift is in my opinion, highly Overpowered. The jutsus included. The ability to call any animal to the user's side is extremely dramatic and opens doors to a whole new level of godmodding and meta-gaming. I suggest you either dump the clan, or make a radical change to it to remove its over-powerdness.

Second Opinion. For the Win.

Quote :

The whole clan is not together, they are spreaded out in different countries, but the ones in the same area stay in that area, together as a family just as you read above. I don't care if you get a second opinion, just don't make it out to be something that it is not, just read and state the facts as you do, and if you have any other questions feel free to ask them.

No need to get snippy at me. I gave you my honest opinion and the same one was backed up my another staff member. Your clan description is poor and you tried basically copying an existing canon clan but added a couple of jutsu. Perhaps a shapeshifting ability would be intrusted with someone who isn't a AS and is a good RPer. So don't get on your high horse thinking that your clan is amazing and well written, because to be frank it really isn't. So denied.

I am sorry but did you read the whole thing, b/c I did not copy it, It is completely different and it was even backed up by another member, but ya know it doesn't matter, it only matters if you are high and mighty like an admin. No ones opinion matters inless they are an admin, I get it, and thats fine, I really do not care, I just thought I might want my clan to be official and to have all the abilities it truly has. And just because I am an acad student doesn't mean I have to be the best RPer, ya know maybe I just wanted to be an acad student, and maybe someone else wanted to be in that clan too, I did not want to be in a cannon clan, I had a whole different idea. You must not understand that the clan is more advanced, more rare, and a whole different idea just made into a branch. So if you don't understand it do not state your opinion and leave it to an admin who does.

Emi consider that your first warning for disrespect towards an admin. As for your statements, I am afraid to tell you you are wrong. This clan needs to be much better explained. Much Much better. Just saying you can turn into animals is very weak, pardon my word choice. Really everyone can do that with transformation jutsu, so you need to EXPLAIN in DETAIL to what extent this goes and why its set apart from what normal shinobi can do.

Also remove the following as they are taking from Kibas clan, (Sorry cant think of the name off the top of my head) and there fore could not be exclusive to your clan.

Gatsuuga Piercing Fang
Rank:D
Type: Taijutsu
Element-
Description: Powerful Taijutsu attack, where the user spins at the opponent with amazing speed, in an attempt to cut and scratch them with claws, fangs, etc. Performed better with two or more people/animals.


Juujuin Bunshin Beast Human Clone
Rank:D
Type: Ninjutsu
Element:-
Description: Used in combination with an animal partner. Chakra is used to reform the animal into an exact replica of the human - or vice versa, with the human becoming an animal. A lose of power in the transformed body - will cause a revert into the original self.

Name: Beast Human Clone
Rank: D
Type:Supplementary
Element:-
A modified version of a Transformation Technique, this jutsu allows a user to transform their animal companion into a perfect copy of themselves. When combined with the Four Legs Technique, the user and the animal become virtually impossible to tell apart, since both act equally animalistic. Like any transformation, the jutsu can be broken by identifying and attacking the animal, thus dispelling the transformation. This jutsu is often followed by the Dual Piercing Fang.

Okay, I am finished editing. *Notice: What I put at the top is what I stumbled opon.

All of your jutsu need a much longer, more detailed description.

other than that, you're golden =]

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They are very rare, and they each have their own special ability such as reading minds, telikinesis, teliportation, and etc.

Hellz to the nah. this whole part is 1. way under explained. 2. a kkgs parts should all be relative, this has nothing to do with shifting into animals. and 3. every last thing you mentioned was OP. Oh and 4. the traits the KKG gives from clansmen to clansmen remains the same, it does not very, hence it being passed through genetics.

Ehh, mixtures of reccesive and dominant gene traits can result in variance. And she would have to specify which trait among those she was going to use. If it was an OP one, we would simply deny it. But Theres nothing wrong with them being there for the sake of sensationalism.

you cant be able to read minds here Pat, that is OP to the max. Thats like extreme meta game at its worst. Teleportation, thats what Madara does, instant dodge, simply not acceptable. Telekinisis, every ninja carrys tools, instant killage. And I have yet to see such a thing happen with a clan in the anime/manga pat, which should be used as fundamental grounds to be based off of.

Kay edited it as you wished :]

Koriame Lon Sica(Shape Shifting Teqnique)
Rank: D-S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element: -
One of the Ayame clan members can use this whenever they want only using very little chakra, depending on the size in which they transform. They glow while they are shape shifting they go back to human form whenever they please, though it takes a post. Changing Shape takes a certain amount of chakra and skill, depending on the size in which they transform. For something their own height or near it, It is D rank, taking a D rank amount of chakra. To transform into something 1 meter taller or shorter than you will take a C rank amount of chakra. For something 3 meters larger than you, a B rank amount of chakra. For Something 7 Meters taller than you, an A rank amount of chakra. For something 15 meters taller than you, an S rank amount of chakra.

D rank to transform?? thats a tad op.. I mean, transformation jutsu is only an illusion...

"The animal or animals will do anything that you can do."

Animals cannot emulate your jutsu

Sikata Sica (Animal Manipulate)
Rank- D-S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element-
Description: The Ayame clan user can use this to use an animal to stalk, kill, and show the user new teqniques it saw people doing. The animal cannot be detected by any person exept for the person who sent it, it is like a messanger but can't be seen, heard, or touched, it is always protected. The animal can't be sent back or stoped inless told by the user.

A perfect stealth technique that entirely prevents detection? that would be S rank on its own.

Okay, I did everything you asked but I had trouble finding the 3rd thing but I think I got it, and the illusion thing I didn't quite understand but I tried. But everything is covered I think. And you were the one who helped me put more detail into the main Shape Shifting jutsu. Anything else you need me to cover? ^.^ Btw, thank you very much for helping me. ;D

here are some initial things I missed.

"30x" better? Thats wayyyyyy too much. limit it to about 5x.

Learn and master jutsu in seconds? Thats an entirely unrelated skilll, remove it


Forde Sica (Copy Transusion)
Rank- D-S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element-
Description: The Ayame clan user can use this to read the persons past and see what will happen in the future to the person that they are reading, the user often uses this to figure out what the oponent is going to do next and learn the teqnique or just prevent it or they manipulate them by using what happened to them in the past. The Ayame Clan members can just look at the teqnique or just watch it and master it in seconds.

get rid of that, it's op, and entirely unrelated to your kkg.

Remove or edit shape shifting, if I helped you, I wasn't thinking straight

Danta Sica (Animal Hypnotize)
Rank- D-S
Type: Ninjutsu
Element-
Description: The Ayame clan user can use this to make person/oponent an animal temporarally, or permanatly if not broke free by mid-night. The Ayame Clan user may use this to escape or plan another teqnique. The user can make a person/oponent into whatever animal they want, making the person that animal untill changed or permanentaly.

This would be genjutsu

Okay did everything you asked. Anything else perhaps? ^.^